It appears that Donald Trump is attempting to enter the Guinness Book of World Records as the World’s Most Obnoxious Man. On Monday morning, the Donald appeared on Fox & Friends, claiming he has “something very, very big” to reveal about President Obama — something so big that it will change the election entirely. Finally, after two days of near unbearable anticipation, Donald Trump made his Obama announcement on his Facebook and Twitter feed at 12PM today. Apparently when Trump says “game-changing announcement” he really means “borderline blackmail offer.”
In short, here’s Trump’s offer: $5 million to the charity President Obama’s choice in exchange for “all of [Obama’s] college records and applications […] and all of his passport applications and records.”
As the Washington Post points out, Trump and other conservatives “believe that Obama’s transcripts will prove that he was a bad student who benefited from affirmative action. The desire for Obama’s passport stems from a conspiracy theory that he used a non-American passport to travel to Pakistan in 1981.”
Right, right, because we’ve never elected a poor student as president. Oh, wait.
Here’s Trump’s announcement in full:
Donald Trump Obama Announcement [VIDEO]
Making demands of someone in exchange for not revealing information about them. Hmm…sounds familiar…Oh, right! That’s damn-near the definition of blackmail:
Blackmail (verb) – Force (someone) to do something by using threats or manipulating their feelings.
But wait…Trump doesn’t have the “incriminating information” typically associated with blackmail… what kind of fake sun-soaked mind game is this?
Let’s get this straight. Donald Trump is using money to demand that the Commander in Chief of the United States give HIM information that Trump thinks will be incriminating. Nucky Thompson couldn’t pull that off, Trump, and Boardwalk Empire is written by Terrence Winter; your speech sounds like it was penned by the secretary of a middle school Young Republican’s chapter.
I had to watch the clip three times and refresh both his Twitter and Facebook page for a good 15 minutes before I stopped thinking “This can’t actually be the ‘big announcement,’ can it? This clip was erroneously swapped with a Dr Evil casting tape, right? ”
Nope, this is it. This is actually the “game changer” the toupee-adorning carrot that is Donald Trump has been claiming for three days would change the election. Thanks, Donald, kindly return to the hot air factory whence you came, lock the doors, and throw away the key.
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