Millennials get a lot of flack for pretty much everything these days, dating included. Technology, the tight economy, “hookup culture,” and a general lack of formality have contributed to the confusion surrounding modern-day dating.
In light of Valentine’s Day, we’re going to try to clear up some of the fuzziness surrounding millennial dating so that you can spend less time figuring out whether or not to go dutch on your coffee date, and more time on things that really matter. The Guardian posted an article earlier this week asking millennials to weigh in on dating culture, and the responses were both hilarious and enlightening. We’ve included some of the answers as well as our own advice on the millennial dating dilemma.
What’s an affordable date and who should pay?
My ‘dates’ usually involve drinks or coffee. Not usually dinners. I think the origin of it is definitely money, but it’s a self-perpetuating cycle. Casual dating leads to expectations of casual dating.
I’m a fan of dating like a Communist – each person contributes what they can, even if it’s not split exactly 50-50. … If there’s any nobility in poverty, the dating-industrial complex has pretty much destroyed it.
‘We should get coffee sometime’ is not a date. ‘I’d like to take you out for a drink. Are you free Thursday night?’ is a date. … Coffee dates are the worst. Coffees are for meetings and chats with friends. Caffeine does not clarify whether or not you want to make out with this person. That’s what alcohol is for.
‘We fell in love in a hopeless place’ is about Starbucks.
Because of the tight economy, and because many millennials are struggling with unemployment, dining at a fancy restaurant is often impractical for a first date. Enter: the coffee date.
Some think that getting coffee qualifies as a date and some save coffee for business meetings or catching up with friends. And when it comes to paying, going dutch is becoming more acceptable, although tradition holds that the man pays. To avoid confusion, be upfront from the start about whether or not you consider your rendez-vous a date. This way, by the time the check comes, you’ll have a better idea of who should foot the bill.
Are we monogamous or not?
To me, a serious relationship means having an actual conversation about monogamy – you aren’t going to date other people, and you are going to put time and effort into cultivating your romantic relationship with this one person.
Anything that lasts beyond two dates without falling into the casual hook-up chasm is pretty serious. I’ve probably [started] scouting a ring at that point.
If you want to know whether or not you are monogamous, the best person to ask is the person with whom you want to be monogamous. Be open and honest about how you feel, and don’t assume anything.
Dating etiquette and … credit scores?
We’ve heard about people being asked for their credit scores on first dates so long-term financial health (not necessarily earnings) is top of mind for some right out of the gate.
GoGirl Finance offered that piece of insight. Dates should be a time for you to get to know the other person. Ask the questions you need to ask to determine what, if anything, the person will add to your life, but it’s important to be respectful. Be mindful of the other person’s right to privacy, and don’t forget that you, too, have the same right.
Image from mittcares.com
