Listen up, men! That facial hair on your face may be hurting your dating life. Whether it’s splotchy or a full and burly beard, you should know that women are judging you, everywhere.
Recently, HowAboutWe posted different beards and mustaches of all shapes and sizes, and revealed what that facial hair style said about the man. But what we want to know is what women really think about your facial hair.
Prepare yourself for honesty, boys. Below are opinions from some of the BostInno staff ladies. I asked them what they truly thought about these looks below – and here’s the good, the bad, and the ugly truth.
Statement ‘Stache
“At least this guy is having fun. Can I touch it?” – Liz Gottbrecht
“F’ing hipster. What is this and why is it necessary? Also wears cut off jorts.” – Ayla Rosen
“Good for them. It’s awesome and I admire them … It shows dedication and I respect that. But I probably wouldn’t date them. I feel like they’d kill me if I messed up their stache – not things I want to worry about.” – Nicole Niss
“The curled ‘stache … just can’t take a guy seriously with that.” – Lauren Landry
“I’m not justifying this absurdity with a response.” – Hilary Milnes
Full Beard and ‘Stache
“EW. EW. EW. Only acceptable if you are Forrest Gump going on an epic running adventure.” – Ayla Rosen
“First thoughts: Are you from Duck Dynasty? What’s living in your beard? Final word: No.” – Hilary Milnes
“Are you showing your solidarity and devotion to whatever Boston sports team is in the playoffs? No? Yes? Either way, this kind of growth can only be pulled off by Mike Napoli.” – Liz Gottbrecht
Goatee with Mustache
“This reminds me of a sketchy dude trying to sell me something. Final word: Bye.” – Hilary Milnes
“One too many guys on Match.com who’ve winked at me.” – Ali Nigro
“There are some beautiful men that rock this look (aka Mr. Depp), but there’s just something… off… about it. Like, he thinks he’s cooler than he is. But hey, maybe I’m just not cool enough to handle it.” – Nicole Niss
“This is gross and looks like you made out with a can of shoe polish. You’re doing this, you obviously can grow a full, proper, kempt beard. Do that.” – Liz Gottbrecht
Beard without the Mustache
“#BreakingAmish” – Ayla Rosen
“I just…can’t.” – Ali Nigro
“No final word necessary because this would only be found on a farm in Central Pennsylvania, which is coincidentally where you will never find me.” – Hilary Milnes
Chin Strap Beard
“This guy also owns a blow dyer, wears affliction t-shirts, goes tanning and crushes muscle milk.” – Ayla Rosen
“You’re either trying to define your non existent neck to chin definition, or are the type of bro who will start fights in a bar on the reg. No.” – Hilary Milnes
“As ridiculous as this may sound given some of the other heinous options, soul patches freak me out the most. Like how much time every morning do you spend edging out that weird little circle below your lip?” – Maggie Kolb
Mustache
“Stage five creeper.” – Liz Gottbrecht
“Woof. Brings back memories of Movember (cringes), the only time it is semi acceptable to rock a ‘stach. Other than that screams weirdo.” – Ayla Rosen
“Admittedly, I was kind of into Joaquin Phoenix’s lone mustache a la ‘Her,’ but that was an emotional movie. Final word: No thanks.” – Hilary Milnes
“You’re creepy and I want nothing to do with you. Especially the thin mustaches… ugh. It’s like a dad look, and that’s too old for me.” – Nicole Niss
Stubble
“Super into it. Unplanned facial hair is super hot. The only one I would date or talk to at a bar.” – Ayla Rosen
“Perfection” – Ali Nigro
“Sold. Did I mention I’m single?” – Caroline Earle
“Stubble – love stubble, the little black dress of beards.” – Liz Gottbrecht
“And I’ll take stubble all daaay” – Caroline Lyle
Soulpatch
To my friends: “He’s nice.” – Ali Nigro
“Please. The thing is called a ‘soulpatch,’ which leads us to a swift, hard no.” – Hilary Milnes
“Yeah… why?” – Nicole Niss
“Just because you only grow hair there DOESN’T mean you should.” – Liz Gottbrecht
BostInno Editor, Alex Weaver’s, Beard
“The little black dress of beards.” – Liz Gottbrecht
Final Beard Consensus: Stick to Stubble
“These all make me want to take a shower. Immediately.” – Caroline Earle
“All of these make me throw up a little bit in my mouth…” – Taylor Sauer
“For some positive beard inspiration, let’s all check out… http://
Images via Pinterest
