I’m 99% sure Alpha Dog ate my first cat. I don’t care if it didn’t exist yet, that thing is a monster. Boston Dynamics’ new toy will be able to carry 400 pounds of soldiers’ equipment for up to 20 miles, according to an article on TheVerge.com, and was just tested outdoors for the first time. Seen marching up and down a rocky hill in the video below, the Alpha Dog looks more like one of Sid from Toy Story’s demented fantasies than anything real.

The Alpha Dog, scientifically known as the Legged Squad Support System (LS3), “will not need a driver, because it will automatically follow a leader using computer vision or travel to designated locations using sensing or GPS,” according to Boston Dynamics’ website. It’s a good dog. Obedient. It still looks terrifying.

In the video below, you can see the thing briefly lose its balance before regaining composure as it marches down a rocky slope with more grace and ease than yours truly after a few drinks too many. The dog/horse/war-robot-mule-thingy, funded by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), is still a ways away from real life usage by the US Military, but this is proof that our future wars will officially be fought with Star Wars technology.

I don’t mean to overstate anything, but this is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m less than 400 lbs. I would trade my car for this thing faster than you could say, “that’s an awful idea.” I’d be the talk of the town, riding around on my war horse, selling movie rights to Steven Spielberg. Watch it roam below. The machine is killer.