The first book on my bookshelf, in the “Books I’ve Never Even Touched” section, is a book called Law School 101. You see, as a green 1L, I wanted the same thing you want—the secret to succeeding in law school. Also like you, I was already too busy basking in the wake of my acceptance letter to heed the advice of many an indentured law firm servant to “run…run as fast as you can.” I suppose the only thing I would have listened to back then is some levelheaded advice on how to survive law school. So here you have it. Read on—but do so only once you’ve accepted that these three years will be the equivalent of your passage through the fifth circle of hell.
1. Cheat the system
On your first day of law school, you will undoubtedly lose your shit when you look around the sea of brilliant classmates that surround you, shut your eyes in horror, and listen to the incessant keyboard pounding. Everyone is outlining. What’s more, everyone seems to be an expert at it. They know all the keyboard shortcuts to the correct bullet points, and they zip past you in the line towards SUCCESS as you stare at “Insert, Format, Font, Tools” blankly, and wonder which one will give you the squiggly line for section (§). I’m going to assume you’re using Mac—and if so, it’s Option+6.
You’re welcome. Here’s something else you can thank me for later: don’t make your own outlines. Your school’s student body will most likely have an Outline Bank, and in that outline bank you will be able to find the exact outline for the exact book with the exact same professor for the exact same class that you’re sitting in now. And if you can’t find it there, you will be able to find it at outlinedepot.com (for a fee). Fergadsakes, download that outline, read it over quickly, familiarize yourself with the general structure of the class, and only add on notes that the previous outliner has missed. This will make your life infinitely easier, and will achieve the same results as pounding your keyboard at 8AM all day, everyday, for three years.
2. Do not read the cases
In my three years of law school, I can only remember one case that I’ve read from top to bottom: Bird v. Holbrook. There are two reasons why this happened: 1. Turley, my torts professor, assigned it to me, and 2. I wasn’t quite sure what a “peafowl” was, and I was endlessly tickled by its use in essentially every other sentence in the case. All the information you’ll ever garner from reading and outlining cases has already been distilled for you in countless prep books available online and at every law school bookstore. Buy yourself one or two of these materials (I used Law in a Flash and the Barbri outlines) and start going through the bright line rules rapid fire. This is the only thing you will remember during your exam, and it will save your grade.
3. Practice issue-spotting exams
Here’s something nobody ever told me before I started law school: the majority of your exams will be open book, and they will almost always be issue-spotting exams. What does this mean? Your professors will give you anywhere from 3-10 pages of long and convoluted scenarios that are supposed to trigger in you a recognition of the issues you’ve spoken about in class. In your answer, you indicate that you’ve picked up on the issue, and suggest how the issue would be decided based on the case law you’ve read. This is not the same as any exam you’ve ever taken before, and it will be much harder for you to succeed than you’d think. In all of the aforementioned prep materials, they have prep exams; your professors should also post past exams online. DO THEM—they will show up in one way or another in your exam.
4. Start networking now
I didn’t realize when I started law school that most of my classmates came from a family of lawyers. Unaware of my peasant status, I simply thought that if I did well in my classes, I would surely snag a brilliant job. WRONG. Just as everything else in life, law school and the career that follows it is all about who you know. Of course, not failing out of your first year will come in handy when you’re applying for that summer position, but what will come even more handy is a brilliant reference by someone who knows you personally and can vouch for your status as a non-droid. Start making business cards, spruce up your LinkedIn profile, and go to some networking events. Ask people for an informational interview—I know this sounds totally bullshit, but honestly, if you’re one of the few that isn’t privy to a family full of lawyers, these people are going to be your closest substitute for a caring aunt with a potty mouth.
5. Don’t drink the Kool-aid
It was the first day of welcome week, and I was in the girls’ bathroom of Third Edition. Two 2L’s came into the bathroom and drunkenly offered my friend and I a word of unsolicited wisdom: if you hook up with someone, don’t tell a soul. I was already in a totally miserable relationship at the time, and couldn’t bear to add yet another curveball to that mess, so I dismissed the advice as something totally impertinent to my particular law school experience. In retrospect, this advice was essentially the side effect of a bigger epidemic that enthralls all students in law school— they all revert into petty highschoolers who thrive on salacious gossip. Now, if you simply MUST have some friends to make this experience bearable, please pick them wisely. Law school is very competitive, and I’ve heard enough horror stories about the incestuous backstabbing that goes on to be able to write a running commentary on the horrors of sleeping with a classmate while you’re preparing your outline for contracts. To be honest with you, it’s slim pickings anyways, so you’re better off meeting someone in a bar, or resurrecting that chastity belt. Like any lawyer, I feel the need to disclaim that this advice will probably not work for all of you. For example, I know that half of you heaved a sigh of relief upon reading that you don’t have to make your own outlines; however, I’m sure that the other half looked something like the reaction videos to Two Girls, One Cup.
There is no ONE thing that will work for all of you, but I hope that this has at least helped to get you started on thinking about what law school will actually be like. Get acclimated to the anger you’ll feel at having your social life stolen from you. Start working SMART. Value the school-life balance. But most importantly: stop listening to other people’s advice, and do your own damn thing.
-Helena B, GWU Law School Graduate
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