On Thursday, J&D’s Foods debuted POWER BACON™ Deodorant, the world’s very first bacon-scented antiperspirant. The product specializes in providing “all day meat scented protection” to those with “active lifestyles,” and is sold alongside other J&D commodities like Bacon Shaving Cream and Bacon Lip Balm. You can now end your morning routine by smelling like your favorite breakfast food before you even sit down to eat it. You know, if you’re into that kind of thing.

And by that, I don’t just mean smelling like bacon.

I’m referring to Bacon mania, a phenomenon that has blessed bacon lovers nationwide with things like chocolate covered bacon, bacon scented air fresheners, and Bakon Vodka, and has even merited its own Wikipedia page. Bacon mania has also become a stimulus for creative thinking of how to satisfy carnivorous cravings. Need to add flavor to a dish? Just add bacon. Need to buy new soap? Buy bacon soap. Need something to wear? Choose from a variety of T-shirts featuring the beloved food. Or better yet, channel Lady Gaga circa 2010.

Exploiting bacon’s addictive powers has even been used as a marketing tactic. Earlier this week, Kansas State started a promotion to rally students to the women’s basketball season opener by stating that they will be awarding all attendees with bacon. Three hundred pounds of it, at that.

Don’t get me wrong. I like bacon. I like bacon in the morning with some scrambled eggs and toast. I like it in a sandwich, in my mac and cheese, and occasionally in my pasta. Sometimes I even think I’d be willing to try Bakon Vodka. But things like this $3,000 bacon coffin make me hope that somewhere in the bacon zeitgeist, there exists a line that should not be crossed.

I’m gonna come out and say that the bacon craze as a whole has long crossed this line, and America is in need of a serious bacon intervention. Our country’s obsession with this food has spiraled out of control, and frankly, it’s quite disgusting. I mean, bacon lube? Good luck trying to get things heated up with that.

I can understand why people love bacon, but I cannot wrap my head around the need for such an excess of bacon products. A simple Google search of bizarre bacon products will inevitably lead to both surprise and horror at the vast amount of bacon-inspired items.

By no means do I discourage people from continuing to indulge in the savory food, but I do hope that the over-the-top bacon fetish starts to sizzle out sometime in the near future.

America has been living, breathing, wearing, and smelling like bacon for far too long, and it’s time to make a change.

Image from J&D’s Foods.