“And none for Taylor Swift, bye,”–country music
Taylor Swift didn’t win any of the three awards she was nominated for at the Country Music Awards last night. What? you ask, But Taylor wins everything! Not this time. She lost out on Entertainer of the Year to Blake Shelton, Female Vocalist of the Year to Miranda Lambert, and Musical Event of the Year to Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw. Really though, would anyone classify Taylor Swift as a country singer anymore? After hearing the lead single from Red, “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” I really doubt it. I mean come on, “I Knew You Were Trouble” is some sort of dubstep experiment, and her sound on the album goes all over the place from there. And so the CMAs were like, bye Taylor. They also probably decided they didn’t want her “OMG, me!?” surprise face all over their jumbotron screens. And she at least got to perform and get mocked in the opening monologue for her breakup with an 18-year-old. Seeing as her new album has sold more copies its first week than any album since 2002, she probably didn’t care all that much.

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart…sitting next to each other…on TV!
All’s right in the world of Twilight. (Except everything that’s inherently wrong with it.) Last night, MTV interviewed ye olde cast of Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson. This used to happen all the time before Kristen Stewart showed her true colors by having an affair with Rupert Sanders, but then things got a little awkward. Wait no, they were always awkward because Kristen Stewart’s trademark is looking uncomfortable. The interview, led by Josh Horowitz, took on a lighter tone despite being the first interview with both KStew and RPatz since the affair. Still, Kristen squirmed in the middle and everyone seemed to be sharing laughs a little too generously, as if to make up for the homewrecking elephant in the room. Check out the video and see for yourself! I particularly thought the talk about Robert Pattinson’s tears was extra uncomfy. Thoughts?

Lindsay Lohan tweets, what does it mean!?

In light of the preparation for Hurricane Sandy on Sunday night, Lindsay Lohan decided to speak her mind about the imminent disaster, and took to Twitter to do so. She likes doing this when big national things happen that she knows nothing about. The result is often confusing. On Sunday night, she tweeted:

“WHY is everyone in SUCH a panic about hurricane (I’m calling it Sally)..? Stop projecting negativity! Think positive and pray for peace.”

I don’t even…what? First of all, is she defiantly choosing to call it Hurricane Sally or did she forget that it’s Hurricane Sandy? It’s hard to say. Second of all, how this is a logical response to a hurricane that’s about wreck the East Coast is also hard to say. I could spend all day trying to decipher meaning from Lindsay Lohan’s nonsensical tweets, but I won’t, mainly in order to pretend that I have something better to do with my life. I do, I swear! Anyways, ironically, Lindsay Lohan’s Twitter account was hacked two days later, eliciting a response from Lohan telling her followers to ignore her last tweet. So just that one? We can’t ignore the rest of them? Ugh. The fake tweet said “How does Hitler tie his shoes? from @oatmeal.” I prefer that one to Lindsay’s weird, passionate tweets about the presidential debates any day. So wait, we’ll never know how Hitler ties his shoes…?

Aerosmith is coming to town, crazy f**kers
First, Tom Hanks dropped an adorable, accidental live F-bomb on Good Morning America, and now Steven Tyler called the Today Show audience ‘crazy f–kers’ right before going onstage to perform at 8 am. No one needs Aerosmith that early in the morning, but what’s happening to wholesome television that nobody under the age of 60 watches anyway?? (Sorry, mom, I know your DVR is filled only with GMA.) In Steven Tyler’s defense, he didn’t know his mic was on and that what he said could be heard on television. Rock stars, I’ll tell ya! Speaking of Aerosmith, they’ll be playing a surprise election concert in Boston on Monday to, I guess, get people to vote? Except it’s not a surprise because everyone knows that it’s happening and when and where it will be. They’ll be playing outside of their old apartment where they started as a band in good old Allston! Awe memz. A little awk, though, to have a free concert on a street corner in the DIY music hood, right after actions have been enacted to restrict the musical DIYness of said hood. I guess being Aerosmith helps. I might go just to see how saggy Steven Tyler’s lips look in person.

IT’S OPRAH’S FAVORITE THINGS!
Oprah posted her annual list of her favorite things on her website yesterday, because Halloween barely gets the chance to end before Christmas starts barging in all over the place. You might as well start embracing it, because Oprah has finally told us all what to want this year. The list is headed by an introduction that says “Oprah picked and planned, tasted and touched, sniffed and snuggled her way through hundreds of items…” which is one weird visual. How do you snuggle your way through something? It doesn’t matter. If Oprah snuggled through it, I want to snuggle through it, too. Most of the things on this list are things that I’ve never heard of, but now desperately need. A corckcicle? What is that. I want it. Organic ginger powder? How did I survive before it?? Thanks again, Oprah. While you’re all crafting your holiday wish list, filling it with stainless steel oil cans and five different truffle-related items, be sure to truly get into the spirit with 25 Years of Oprah Yelling. DANIEL DAY LEWIS!

Halloween 2012: Celebrities dressing up as other celebrities
Did you ever wonder what Miley Cyrus would look like if she dressed up as Nicki Minaj? Well you can find out anyways! Imitating each other seemed to be the theme for Halloween in Hollywood, and here’s how it turned out: