I consider myself to be a well-informed consumer when it comes to nutrition. I know things with “low-fat” claims are worse than their original counterparts, and I’m very aware that processed and packaged food is not only a main factor in the nation’s obesity epidemic, but can also carry increased health risks for cancer and the like. I try to shop on the perimeter of Trader Joe’s to fill my cart with fresh ingredients and foods, and when my nutrition is getting a bit questionable from time to time (we all get busy), I watch a fair amount of Netflix documentaries to scare me straight. Lately I’ve been feeling a little run down and pretty curious about this juice craze causing pandemonium amongst health-conscious consumers, so I decided to give it a go. I chose a weekend when I had no plans but to recoup with some me-time and prepared for a relaxing couple of days.

Being a #HappyHourAthlete, I didn’t spend too much time researching my options due to my busy 9 – 5 (to learn more about Boston’s best health and wellness activities and brands, come to the event on September 24th). A simple referral from a friend pointed me in the direction of this Dr. Oz cleanse. The handy checklist made shopping simple and most importantly, I could use a blender as opposed to investing in an expensive juicer. I also liked the fact that this cleanse would give me proper nutrition while others require you to drink nothing but water with cayenne pepper (or something along those lines). Armed with my big reusable bag I headed off to Trader J’s.

In total, the ingredients cost me a bit more than the estimated $16 a day, and that was without the Omega 3 and Multivitamin that I had at home. I spent $60 on three days worth of groceries (woof), and headed home to make my first drink.

As a disclaimer, I don’t really do well when I’m really hungry. I get cranky and irritable, and my enthusiasm for living an uber healthy lifestyle goes right out the window. My first drink wasn’t awful, but the flax seeds left a distinct taste that could not be hidden by any amount of frozen berries. After an hour or so I was still hungry (probably because I had sipped it to get it down) and I decided it was reasonably lunchtime.

The recipe for drink number two yielded almost a full blender of green smoothie. I added a bit of Stevia to the mix to sweeten it up (it could have used some gin as well) but there was still a pretty thick celery taste to the drink. Even though I was very hungry, I couldn’t handle more than three-quarters of a glass of juice, and put the rest in the fridge for later. Having some red breakfast drink leftover as well, I put it in a tumbler and left the house for the day — only to find that it turned had turned brown after about 30 minutes of no refrigeration. Guess this stuff really is fresh.

I returned home around dinner time, having skipped the “favorite drink” option for a snack. I dutifully concocted the dinner drink, which was actually my favorite. Far from something I could stomach every day, but it was a change of pace with the spice from cayenne pepper. Again, I could not bring myself to drink the whole thing, and more smoothie sat in my fridge tempting my roommates (yeah right). I was still very hungry and not experiencing the revitalizing energy boost that dedicated cleansers talk about. Maybe I didn’t do it right, but the combination of my hunger and a late afternoon caffeine headache I was quickly forgetting why I had ever thought this was a good idea.

Waking up the next morning, I again made my morning drink but left the flax seeds out. It was much improved, but still a far cry from the over sweetened mall smoothies that we all enjoy while feeling healthful. By lunchtime, I had decided to eat all the ingredients that were supposed to go in the drink, hoping for the same cleansing effect. As I chomped on my four celery stalks, mango, and kale, I felt like I was cheating, but it was good to get some food in my stomach. This turned out to be a mistake, as I couldn’t keep the food down, and just like that I was done with the cleanse fun. I made myself a nice bland english muffin and continued on my merry way.

While I don’t feel any different this Monday morning than any average morning, I don’t think the experience was a total loss. I tried kale for the first time and you-tubed how to make kale chips in the oven (not half bad). I discovered that Trader Joes’ has refreshing coconut water that will be making it into my cart weekly, and I have tons of veggies and fruit in the fridge that will make my lunch salads much more appetizing this week in the office. I can hope that some of the evil toxins in my intestines had to have been cleared out by my attempt at a cleanse, and I have revitalized and re-inspired myself to eat better, which is what the purpose of this experiment was to begin with.

For those of you interested in cleansing, God speed. It might be best to cut yourself off from society, avoid anywhere you might smell prepared food, and keep yourself very busy doing anything to keep your mind off of how hungry you are (online shopping not recommended). If you’re interested in health and fitness brands, activities and products for the young professional I’ll see you at #HappyHourAthlete on September 24th at Game On! We’re bringing Boston’s best health and wellness brands to you for a happy hour filled with fitness class demos, massages, freebies and more. Get your ticket now, which includes your first drink — and I swear it won’t have a single vegetable in it.