Not many true pizza fanatics would say that Pizza Hut houses the best pie in America. But what Pizza Hut has that your favorite hole-in-the-wall pizza haven doesn’t is the new “Crazy Cheesy Crust” pizza, a pizza that forsakes a traditional, sturdy crust in favor of sixteen oozing cheese pockets. Because at Pizza Hut, you know what they say: if you can’t beat ‘em, ruin pizza.
This practice has come into fruition before, just not yet in the US. Perhaps you missed the hot dog-stuffed crust pizza, released in the UK, Thailand, and Japan, for when you just can’t decide between a hot dog and pizza, and also kind of hate yourself. And don’t forget the Crown Crust pizza, which was first available in the Middle East three years ago, and then came to Canada last year. The Crown Crust was dotted with meatballs, cream cheese, mini cheeseburgers, and chicken nuggets. What would that experience even taste like? One can’t say without trying it, and that’s not a road I plan on going down anytime soon. (Ask me again at 2 a.m. on Friday.)
Still, Pizza Hut should rear back on the excessive crust front, which is what it claims to have done with its newest invention, the Crazy Cheesy Crust. A Pizza Hut company spokesman told the Associated Press that because it doesn’t include additional crust stuffers, the pie is not an “over-the-top indulgence.” In comparison to hot dog and chicken nugget crust? Maybe. In comparison to, you know, normal crust? Not so sure.
My next concern is how to actually eat this pizza, which resembles nature’s carb-and-cheesiest flower (perfect for spring!). Usually, crust serves the purpose of structuring and supporting the hot, gooey cheese in transportation from plate to mouth (or box to mouth, no judgments). But if the crust is hot, gooey cheese that pulls apart and falls all over the place, we have a problem. I thought you were here to preserve my dignity, crust. Don’t try to impress a new date with this pie, at the very least. In an interview with Yahoo, the chef of the Pizza Hut taste kitchen explained the concept of the Crazy Cheesy Crust: “Consumers always want more cheese.” That may be true, but should consumers always get more cheese? We’ll see–it goes on sale today.
The Crazy Cheesy Crust pizza will be available limited time for $12.99, for those who are OK with saying the words “Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza” out loud.
