Ever wondered what would happen if your favorite fictional characters from television and the movies decided to prank call unsuspecting businesses and absolutely ruin their day? Yeah, me too. Well, thanks to some crafty idiots with access to Internet soundboards and a bunch of free time, you don’t have to fantasize. Here are some of the funniest prank calls of annoyed workers arguing with soundboards. I’m not condoning this behavior or encouraging you to partake in this immature nonsense, but you should absolutely call up a local establishment right now and do this to them.

Hank Hill, the patriarch of everyone’s favorite family from Arlen, Texas calls Home Depot and pisses this lady off to no end. He just wants a hammer, lady! Give the man his tools. God dang it, Bobby!

Remember Herbert, the elderly pedophile from Family Guy who wanted nothing more than to knock boots with the young Chris Griffin, his paperboy? Yeah, well, he called the Newspaper company because he hasn’t seen the paperboy in a while. And they are having none of it.

Detective John Kimball is pissed and he wants some pizza asap if not asap-ier. Answer his questions, lady! He can have you cuffed and sent to rot in a cell for the rest of your days if you’re not careful. Extra pepperonis, damn it! He’s a cop you idiot!

This guy was already having a bad day, picking up the phone instantly screaming and what not. Al Pacino screaming in your dome piece through a telephone as one of the most brutal drug dealers in cinematic history? Yes please.

I would’ve guessed Homer Simpson’s voice was more or less universally recognizable. Guess not. Oh well. Help him find his pants, jerk ass.

Jack Nicholson really wants a sandwich. This is really impressive use of the soundboard. A+.

Judge Judy is a real person you know. She’s not always robed out, doling out morality lessons to degenerates on television. She needs a television of her own. Hello, Best Buy.

Alrighty, I’ve got to roll. I’ve got some calls to make.