Most guys on OkCupid

About a year ago, I went on a date with a guy that ended up being a complete asshole. He was an associate at a law firm and we had both gone to the same law school, so I initially thought what the hell…I’ll give him a shot. Plus, he looked really cute in his OKCupid photos. (Don’t you judge me). First of all, in real life he was about a foot shorter and two stones lighter than he’d claimed on his profile. But given his personal success, I was willing to let him win me over with his charming personality. Yeaaaah….that didn’t work out. He was the “New York is better” guy. “I only date women in New York because they’re better.” “I only shop in New York because shopping there is better.” “I only eat in New York because restaurants in New York are better.” Needless to say, we came clean and decided that we weren’t really going to work out for several reasons—his being that I was not currently located in New York, and mine that I couldn’t get over my urge to pick his skinny ass up and just boot it over to NYC. 

Now I say all this to say that if he’d made some point about New York being a fashion capital, about lanky gazelle demigoddesses prancing the streets like NBD, about how even the most basic prole in NYC is completely lacking in peasant-like characteristics, I would have conceded. DC is completely irrelevant in the fashion scene, and the yuppie culture, the government work, the sheer “diet-city” nature of our surroundings make it very difficult for DC to be fashion forward. But does it have potential? Yes. 

If one really does try to diagnose the problem in this city though, you’d find that at the end of the day, it’s not really “fashion” that DC lacks, but style. A lot of people use these phrases interchangeably, but I assure you they are quite different. Fashion is what’s on the runways, on the market, and on trend. Style is personal. Fashion houses have at their disposal the creative talent, the money, and the materials, to make your style evolve. And that is why they are relevant—because like every mainstay in society, they evolve with the times. They evolve with you. They help you express you.  But in a city where self-expression lives within the confines of that cubicle at the Department of Something or Other, fashion is irrelevant. 

And before you start telling me that you don’t have time to throw yourself together, or to figure out your style, or to invest in something as trivial as what to wear…please stop. Whether you like it or not, your style defines you. It speaks to people in a way that perhaps your words and actions won’t get a chance to. It tells them what you’re about, in a nutshell. So do you want it to say “I just copied what that mannequin was wearing at Banana Republic” or “I know who I am, I have flair, and I’m not afraid to take risks”?

Style is personal. It is not being “very NYC” or “very Paris” or “very Milan”…but just being “very yourself.” And even in a city like DC—no—especially in a city like DC, individualism is valued because it is so rare. Be faithful to your own style, to your own self, to your dreams and your calling. And if you don’t know what it is yet, then start searching for the image of you twenty years down the road, and build towards it. If you start on the micro level by taking control of the image you portray to others and making it your own, then it will spread to every other quadrant of your life. You will revel in being yourself, an individual, and a fabulous one at that. 

So let’s discover that together. DC is a very small city, and image is very important. Whether it’s what you wear, who you hang out with, where you’re seen, or what your work product is—it all feeds into the general image of you-ness. The theory and idea of this column is very fluid—and I hope to be inspired by your ideas, just as much as I hope to inspire you with mine. I look forward to a productive journey together! 
 – Helena B.

 Also Read:
 5 Things First Year Law Students Need to Know
 Introducing SIN Communities
 Your First Taxi Ride is on us! 

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